You Can’t Love Me

You can’t love me
There’s no chance
Built a wall around my heart
Surrounded by a cage
And then a bunch of booby traps
Don’t try to force your way through
I’m no boyfriend, no part-time lover
Not even qualified for a one-night stand
I’m one-hundred-percent husband material
So don’t blow me a kiss
I’ll just blow it away
Mi casa es no su casa
My house is not your house
My house is hers, just hers, always hers.

Issues

So I have this issue and
there’s no exact medical term for it.

But when I look into your eyes
I’m transported to a place where
it always rains sunshine.

And maybe that doesn’t sound like an issue.

But when I really, really miss you
it feels like some incurable disease
akin to an elephant using my chest as a scale
or a vampire sucking my soul through a straw.

So yeah, I have this issue, I think
where I fall deeper in love
with you every nanosecond.

And maybe you have it, too?

Long-Distance Relationships

I have this puzzle
A map of the world

Which I’ve been putting
Together in private
And amorously slow

Not because I’m unsure of
The location of the pieces
But rather I wanted to rearrange the globe
So our countries aren’t
Disconnected by a sea

It took six seemingly endless months
But it was nothing, really
A few necessary adjustments

Even when it’s make-believe
I always place you next to me

Others

I hope they come in reckless swarms
Blow in like the worst storms ever seen
Breaking windows and tearing off doors
Flooding my inbox with inappropriate messages
Even rushing toward me with lusty hands
Wearing mouthwatering lingerie
Or nothing but flirty smiles
And in numbers too large to count
In fact, I hope they come
Nonstop, every day
Just so I can show you how
I’d turn them all away in favor of you

Done Traveling

I always thought
I needed to see
The Eiffel Tower and
The Great Wall of China and
The pyramids in Egypt and
The Hanging Gardens of Babylon
Or at least the pearly gates of Heaven

But that was before
I uncovered your existence
All Seven Wonders of the World
In one five-foot blessing

And now I’m done
I have no urge to travel
Any measurable distance from you