A Recipe For Disaster

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My Mind:

Ingredients

  • 6 c. Overthinking
  • 2 1/2 c. Try Harder
  • 1/2 c. Fear
  • 5 Tbs. Worry
  • 4 Tbs. Stress
  • 2 tsp. Sorrow
  • A pinch of Anxiety
  • A single grain of Starlight

Instructions

1. Heat the Overthinking in a saucepan until boiling

2. Add Worry, Fear, Stress, and Anxiety to Overthinking in the saucepan and heat until about 300°F (or hard crack)

(Note: If it is not smooth, try adding a little bit more Fear, it really helps with the consistency)

3. Combine all of the ingredients (except for the Try Harder and Sorrow) in a container that can logically only hold about 6 cups and set it aside for at least 5 minutes, or until it settles.

4. While the other ingredients settle, whip up the Try Harder with an egg beater or a whisk until peaks start to form. If the peaks are not staying up, add more…

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My Philosophy of Smell

Onions reek of tears. Mushrooms have the same aroma of the earth. Grapefruits fill one’s nose with deceitfulness. A whiff of a ripe banana is unfriendly and a clementine aggressive. An apple has a soft radiant quality to it, like raw spinach, which resembles the scent of the sun, while lemons provide an adventurous scent that teleports about the room. Garlic smells hateful. Cinnamon is flirtatious; honey bitter and seductive. Oregano is less attractive but captivating in its promise of sweetness. Grapes flaunt their pureness; cloves their promiscuity; carrots their indifference. Ginger holds a sour resentfulness in one’s nose. Nutmeg functions as its lighter alternative. Cayenne pepper and jalapenos make hot a smell. Vanilla is pleasing and warm, so unlike the prickly scent of vinegar, yet much like the delightful tenderness of blueberries. With one’s eyes closed raisins can be mistaken for polluted grapes. Peaches perfume the air with sophistication; pears fall somewhere between the former fruits, not too meek and not too feisty. Watermelons, and only watermelons, have the fragrance of second chances.

(Originally published at the Eunoia Review here.)

Skeptical Knowledge

Never          trusted

left        or       right

Only             trusted

brain    and     sight

Never           trusted

what   they    write

Only              trusted

those    who    fight

Never            trusted

wrong      or     right

Only               trusted

shedding           light

 

How To Become A Writer

At night
Throw yourself away

At dawn
Remake yourself fresh

Fluid gender
Fluid sex

Be nowhere but
Let your eyes and ears wander                        everywhere

Be novel
Be the .5 kid

Write in ash
Turn voices of the past
Into a group of one

Bleach your heart
Dress your hands in dirt
Soak your mind in tears
Dry it in the yellow warmth

Walk half a marathon in another’s shoes
Walk the other half barefoot

For months at a time
Exercise only your fingers
Be only your fingers

Become a shadow amongst the shadows
Then emerge with a cloud of words

Rain them upon your listeners
Until they say, “You’re as essential as the weather.”

 

(Published first by the Eunoia Review here.)