Forget the sensuous rhythms, the candlelit flows
The flame-drenched language
and the exaggerated escapades
Forget the masterful forms, the dreamy refrains
The count of lines and stanzas
and the elaborate rhyming schemes
Forget the scathing irony, the fanciful similes
The absolutely astonishing alliteration
and the mind-blowing metaphors
Forget all that glitter and just keep the gold
A poem isn’t a poem
Unless it’s about you
_________________________________________________________
Here’s also the first version of this poem, which I’ve been working on for too long.
A poem is not a poem
On the page
Unless it’s about you
Though it may feel and look
Like some poetry
It’s not the same
Every word decays
In my candlelit mind
Unless it’s about you
Often lines and stanzas
Go astray, too, when
A poem is not a poem
Because there is no prose
Or even rhyme
Unless it’s about you
And in my heart and
On the page
A poem is not a poem
Unless it’s about you
Benjamin Grossman 
Wow Ben, this is just absolutely stunning. I am truly speechless. Both versions are so beautiful in their authenticity and truth. I love the formatting in the first one and the rhythmic flow in the second one. And you are so right…a poem is not a poem unless it’s about you. That is so powerfully true. AMAZING, my friend!!! I can’t express how much I love this 💚💙
Thanks, Ace! I know I can always count on your support. I like each version for different reasons like you said. And, every creative piece is kinda like our creative babies. We love them all in deep ways. But usually it’s the “other” or “you” that makes a poem a poem, for sure. Thanks for all your thoughts. Stay your best self and have a fantastic night! 💚💙
You’re always welcome, my friend!!! Yes, I love how you say “creative babies”…it’s so true, each creation has a special place in our hearts and minds. And yes, “you” can be interpreted in so many ways, that’s why I loved your line so much. It’s truly a gift to read your masterpieces! Keep shining and being amazingly YOU 💚💙
Hey there!!! I’m just checking in to let you know I nominated you for The Brainstorms Award. You absolutely deserve it! No worries if your site is award free, just wanted to share your beautiful work and how much I appreciate you!!!! Much love, my friend 🖤🤗
-Ace
That’s cool. Thanks for thinking of me on this award. Hopefully I can get around to doing it soon. Much love to you as well. Have a great night! 🙂
Thanks again! Really special to hear this. And you gift me with your praise. I do not take it lightly. I can always get behind the power of a “YOU”. 💚💙
Love the first version. Good stuff.
Thanks a lot! I like that one, too. Although, if I recall correctly, it was a failed villanelle. But still I like it all the same. Thanks for reading and commenting so much!
They are both amazing in distinct ways. Love them both! Brilliantly done.❤️
Thanks, Grace! Means so much to hear this. Definitely the kind of thing that keeps you wanting to write more. 🙂 ❤️
My pleasure.💕 Always keep writing, Benjamin.You’re an amazing talent.💕
That’s very kind of you to say. Thanks big time. 🙂
Oh, I like seeing these two versions Ben and I am glad you posted both. As to which is my favourite… A lady never tells 😆
I think they say the same about a gentlemen. So that’s fine, really 🙂 And thanks for reading! I’ll read between the lines 😉
Forget it all, haha. Our lives are poetry. Nicely written!
💐
Exactly true. Thanks a lot! 🙂
The original is simple, the newer version is more extravagant, it’s interesting to see how 2 poems express the same weight in 2 different ways.
Yeah, it sure is. Always interesting to see how writers change ideas or go about creating them. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Always appreciate you greatly!
I find that the revision is more sophisticated. 🙂
I think so, too. It has a little more poetical style to it. Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂
Very interesting to read both poems and knowing you a bit..I am struck with the fact that they really are not about the same thing..I think the first version, tells us poets, if we don’t put ourselves in the poem it’s not really poetry and the second is a love poem about your love (you) who you choose to only write about because you’re totally obsessed by this love..if that love(you) is not part of your poem..well it’s not your poem:) It’s not poetry ataall..I might be wrong..but I was immediately struck by this thought, in the 2nd version:) Super romantic Ben!
Well, yes. I think you’re correct in your assessment. Though I think in some ways it was an unintentional shift at the start. The distance between revising the pieces and the shift in form slightly altered the meaning. One of them is certainly about a perfect lover. And everything you said makes perfect sense to me. Thanks for writing this comment. It’s a masterful reading you’ve done. Wow. Thanks a lot, Karima!
My pleasure..Was such a cool juxtaposition..I loved them both:)
🙂
Both of these are exquisite, but the final product is absolutely breath-taking, It’s amazing to see the two next to each other – the creative process at work. I also love how the two poems are effectively the same, but they say two completely different things. The first one makes me feel like poetry isn’t poetry unless the poet gives something of themselves to the craft. The second one is a poem that’s about loving someone else and wanting to write about them and hearing them in every poem you read. It’s really an interesting dichotomy on the same theme. Thank you for sharing
Thanks, thanks! I do think it’s interesting to see a full creative process. Things can change so much during revisions and over time. Alternate versions are exciting at times. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I really am intrigued by hearing other’s opinions and ideas. Such a cool thing that we all think differently about the same thing. Subjective truths are very interesting. Thanks again!
I really enjoy reading your work, so there’s really nothing to thank me for. But after I wrote my comment, I read some of the others. It really is interesting to see how people see things similarly and so differently almost because of one word. It’s amazing.
I”m with you on this. Perspective is a fun thing to witness. Hope you have a great night! Seriously: thanks again!
Good night!
Wow. So beautifully said. I really liked the first one 🙂
HUGE thanks, Vignesh! And for letting me know which one you liked best! 🙂
My pleasure 🙂
Fascinating!
It’s amazing how certain people can act as an element to a poem and add more spark to it. And yes, sometime it’s not about metaphors or rhymes, but their presence.
These poems are perfect Benjamin 💫
Thanks! Yeah, that is. You put it very poetically. Some people are definitely spark-creators to art. You’re right about everything you said in my opinion. The presence of some people is overwhelmingly positive. And sometimes the presence can overflow and get onto the page. I really appreciate your presence! 🙂
You’re welcome🤗
“Spark-Creators to art,”
Wow! I like it!
🙂
beautiful message there about getting back to the (poetic) essence
Wow, another cool comment. That’s perfectly stated: “Poetic essence”! Thanks so much!
you’re welcome. big fan of philopoetics over here. 🙂
Dear Ben, despite all the erudite assessments, the plain fact is, nature didn’t heal your obsession with the person you still love. I am not the best person to advise, done many mistakes before myself.
Thank you, I love both poems, you are very talented.
Joanna
Thanks Joanna. I do appreciate your support very much! We all mistakes, in truth, but we are much more than our mistakes in the end. And, I don’t know too much of obsessions but sometimes you love certain people no matter what. And: I think Emily Dickson was right in saying this: “The Heart wants what it wants – or else it does not care”. Thanks again for all your kindness.
Wowww..! Ben, it’s Marvelous.! Fantastic..! Awesome..! I really liked this piece very much..! So amazing..! Keep shinning..! Woww..! I’m speechless..!
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I’m basically smiling from your comments. 🙂
So nice to hear from you Ben..! You’re very welcome..!🙂
I enjoyed reading both poems, Benjamin, and it’s interesting to see the contrast between them. The first one you listed made me smile, I love the gentle mockery of the poet’s craft: ‘…absolutely astonishing alliteration…’ 🙂
Haha, exactly! A “gentle” mocking, perhaps. Poetry is supposed to be an almost higher form of art, but perhaps there is no high and low art. Just art … in many mediums. Thanks a lot! 🙂 Enjoyed reading what you wrote! 🙂
I love the deep meaning this poem has…’A poem isn’t a poem, unless it’s about you’…People generally tend to ignore poetry like any other form of art. When their world becomes dark or when they struggle with processing their emotions, they turn to poetry and suddenly the poetry becomes relatable.
Thanks, Garima. You’re right in that we take art for granted. It really is important in so many aspects of our lives and effects our moods. Weddings, funerals, relationships, graduations, history is all deeply tied to art. But sometimes we don’t treat art and artists with the respect they deserve. And I, too, am guilty unfortunately of consuming art and forgetting to praise it. Creating art is a hard job. Thanks for this thoughtful comment!
Love, LOVE the second version.
Your words manage to slip down into a special, home-like corner in my heart. 🌼💜
Wow, thank you! Such a special comment. I shall remember it forever. 😊
Thanks for sharing your poetic process – the outcome is sublime.
Thanks so much. Means a lot! 🙂
You are welcome!
I love both versions and each has its own style and rhythm yet the message is clear and concise and a joy to read. I’m glad you shared both versions with us Benjamin!
Thanks, Hasan. Appreciate the feedback!
Beautiful! from the start to finish, wow! 😊
Thanks a ton! Appreciate your support!
You’re welcome! 😊
🙂
This was absolutely stunning, Ben! I loved both versions! Well done, buddy! 🙏💖🌈
Thanks so much, Diana. Glad you enjoyed these. Means so much to me 🙂 💖
Both are just so wonderful
Thanks a lot!!!
This is amazing ben!! Each and everyy line! Both the versions are so great! The formatting of the first one is amazing! And I loved the beautiful start and flow of the second one two!! Glad you posted both of them!
Both are amazing in two different ways❤️
Thank you, Ahiri. It’s so wonderful to hear this from you. These were a long time in the making. ❤️
Great glimpse at how your writing evolves, thank you.
Really, thank you so much!!!
I enjoyed this for its ambiguity. It could be romantic or it could be some other “other” you’re thinking about. Cause so often there is some entity behind the thought process of a poem. Lovely, Ben 🙂
Wow! Isn’t that the truth. The entity behind the words or the poems. Perhaps there is always one, even if it’s just a amalgamation of many. Thanks for your thoughtful comment! Always appreciative of your support and kindness! 🙂
You’re most welcome! I enjoyed reading you. I love that the poet doesn’t always know what they convey sometimes but it means something to someone else.
Have a lovely rest of the weekend, Ben ☺️
Right. Exactly that sometimes. I like your thought there. You always get me thinking deeply on these things. Have a lovely week! 🙂
Two marvellous poems. Evoked completely differently in many ways. ❤
Lots of thanks to you. Exciting to hear you liked these. 🙂
You are most deservedly welcome
This lights up another candle in my mind, fascinated.
Thanks for that! Appreciate it greatly!
What a yummy sweet poem. I like your heart and mind , it’s purity of soul that makes you write so. Great great poetry.
Thanks! Your words honor me. 🙂
It’s an honour and a great delight to read work such as yours. More ink to your creative quill.
Thanks so much yet again! 🙂
Hi, Ben, I like them both, but the first is my favorite. I like the sense of fragmentation it imparts. Great work, as always! 🌞
Thanks a lot, Lisa! Funny how time changes our perspective. Thanks for reading and commenting! 😦
Loved this poem/post! Your first version of this is on the right track and contains some real gems and seeds of inspiration you should probably flesh out and rewrite. I’d love to see it? Love the line – “A poem is not a poem, unless it’s about you!” Anxious to see what you re-create from your first version! It’s a gem waiting to be mined!! 😊👍
Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.
Just started following. I love the way you write. The irony in this. Love it
Thanks so much! I seriously appreciate your words and your thoughts. It’s nice to know when you do something others can relate to! Thanks again! Wishing you a beautiful week!
Touching poetry. Beautiful flow in both.
Thanks a lot for commenting and reading! Good to hear from you. Hope you’re doing well!
My pleasure always 🙂
I am doing good. How about you?
I’m pretty good at the moment. Ready for the new year, I think! Hoping for better days ahead and wishing you all the best! 🙂
That is awesome! All the best and Have an fabulous New Year!
[…] What Is Poetry Anyway? […]