Forbidden

After Little Charmer

If only I could
If only you would
But we both know it couldn’t
Come to any good

Yet you still have some may
And I still have some might
So what if our wish on the stars
Could make something so forbidden lawful tonight?

Second verse added with permission of Little Charmer. Read and like the original here. And make sure you check out the rest of Little Charmer’s wonderful blog and, if you haven’t already, follow and like from there.

37 comments on “Forbidden

  1. wardah says:

    This is amazing! The rhyme scheme really adds on to this, and I can feel the wistfulness in your words. Beautifully penned!

  2. Secrets says:

    Fantastic Ben… Love this duet. Charmer always writes the perfect rhymes!

  3. gabychops says:

    Technically lovely but because it is enigmatic I cannot comment enthusiastically. What is forbidden?

    It could be something so wrong, yet, here we are clapping like demented seals.

    Perhaps, Benjamin, you can leave ambiguity aside and tell us, please

    Joanna

    • I see what you mean. That makes sense. I’m sure it could be forbidden love; two people who can’t be together for some sort of reason, and yet who actually love each other more than anything, but think it might not be a good idea to be together nevertheless. I think some things that are forbidden are not technically wrong and others could always be seen as wrong (such as, harming others). Forbidden changes with the rise and fall civilizations. Every culture has different taboos (though some are the same through many). Sometimes it is a matter of time and place. However, I think there is no evil or impure intention behind this poem. It’s about two lovers that can’t be together for some unspecified reason, which could be something fantastical like one is from Mars and one from Venus and this isn’t allowed or something like in a fairy tale where a prince can’t marry a commoner. I don’t think it goes into anything darker. But thanks for your perspective. Your reading makes much sense and brings another view to this. Some of the insight must always fall on the reader, I think, because most times the writer can never state their intent. Always enjoy reading your thoughts. Thanks again. Stay safe!

  4. What an amazing second verse – follows on from (and exceeds) mine perfectly!!

    I love how you have taken the feeling of hope that whatever (or whoever) is ‘forbidden’ in the first verse might still come to fruition after the second.

    Invoking the stars reminds me very much of a Romeo & Juliet style situation – which was not too far from my original intention too.

    Bravo my friend!!
    You are welcome to write a second verse to my first anytime! πŸ˜πŸ–€πŸ–€

    • Thanks. I’m glad you didn’t think that I harmed your intentions. Romeo & Juliet: the greatest of star-crossed lovers. I often wonder what would happen if they could have a happy ending! Your poem now makes even more sense to me, and perhaps this was part of the reason I was pulled toward your words here. Shakespeare is someone I have read extensively. Thanks again. I may have to take you up on the offer. Have a great one! And thanks again for writing this!

  5. Absolutely love this πŸ˜‰πŸ’‹

  6. s.s. says:

    Beautiful… the way you write!
    Yet you still have some may
    And I still have some might
    πŸ™Œ

  7. Lia says:

    I’m pondering your second stanza. Beautifully crafted, with the one person’s “may” and the other person’s “might,” paired together, and then the “our” of consent in the third line… and the whole thing feels wonderfully romantic…

    It’s really intriguing, the idea of how something forbidden could become lawful in one night. As someone else mentioned, the poem definitely induces some questions… one thing that seems sure is the two parts work well together and have a similar mindset! Great teamwork, and lovely promoting of a fellow poet. πŸ™Œ πŸ’–πŸ₯‚

  8. gabychops says:

    Thank you, Benjamin, it takes away the dark side, just leaves the tragedy.

    As it is the poem (both parts) is hauntingly beautiful.

    Joanna

  9. Alina says:

    The second verse fits. The last line is really beautiful and for a moment I was left speechless. This is lovely. πŸ‘

    • Thank you. I’m glad you could relate in that way to this piece. I think there could be levels to its understanding. It could mean more or less depending on its relational existence to our idea/ideal of love and its laws. Have a great start to your week!

  10. V.J. Knutson says:

    Really like what you’ve done with this. If you hadn’t told me the first stanza came from elsewhere, I would have thought you wrote the whole thing.

  11. Kritika says:

    Little Charmer writes the heart out which is attractive and clever. I like the way she says all in some words. And your words are impressive here.

  12. Ahh these lines, “Yet you still have some may
    And I still have some might” These are the lines even the poet is allowed to love..who wrote them.
    I read Little Charmer’s and yours is the perfect complimentary and much more hopeful 2nd verse.
    Wonderful!

  13. Beautifully penned…

  14. πŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ yes!!! Love it!!

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