She puts me on in every season
Regardless of time, place, or location
In the rain, the sleet, and the snow
Apparently I’m some sturdy husband material
Tag Archives: humor
Inked
I’m infatuated with the speed at which you spill your ink
Imagine all the ways you guide your pen over a page
Fantasize about how you dot your i’s and cross your t’s
And now I can’t stop thinking of collaborating
(Subtlety) I Think
SHE LOVES ME MOST
WHEN I’M WEARING
THE EMPEROR’S NEW CLOTHES
Routine
Got a new doctor
Checked my blood pressure
Off the charts
He was concerned
But I wasn’t
Since I was thinking of you
Ordered a CT scan of my heart next
It was unthinkably enlarged
The technician was gobsmacked
But I wasn’t
Since it housed my love for you
EKG came back abnormal, showed no activity whatsoever
The nurses were petrified
But I wasn’t
Since my heart only beats around you
They didn’t believe me, of course
Until you walked through the door
PB&J Relationships
When we met
Your brain was nutty
Mine was like jelly
It is no wonder that
Our relationship is toast
How We Met
Sometimes I tell them
it was on a sun-drenched shore
and you came rising
out of the sea wearing
foam and algae and
seashells, always seashells,
a school of rare fish in your hair, too.
Other times I joke
you fell from the stars
and straight into my arms, with
pieces of cloud about you,
your skin all heaven-scented.
Once I even lied—
pretended we entered this world together
something like Jacob and Esau,
except I was holding onto your
hand instead of your foot.
But most of the time
I just tell the truth:
I don’t know how we met
I just know it was in a past life
In The Beginning
When I saw you
my world expanded,
literally, for you were
an undiscovered galaxy
with the most breathable air
and the prettiest stars.
However, when you saw me,
you just thought of one
big bang.
Crystal Balls
In my possession I have
A pair of crystal balls
Would you believe that
Sometimes they can predict the future
Upward to nine months?
Bloomless
Our love should have
Been a flower in bloom
But it was one letter off
B o o m!
What Am I? #1
Second cousin to expectation
Buried beneath a costume
A fragment of pleasure